Most people, especially in the Christian realm, do not like to talk about sex. They don't want to let others know them in that way and in many ways this is a good thing. In other ways, as long as you talk with other married friends (of the same sex) and don't give away too many details, I think its a great thing.
Sex has been on my mind a lot lately. God made sex to be this amazing thing 2 people who are committed to each other in marriage and crazy in love to share to bring Him glory. Sex between married couples is an act of worship. But then there comes all these questions I have about when I don't feel like sex is honoring to God?
The main premise of this post is about fertility, but all this trying to get pregnant stuff has made sex more of a chore that only happens once or twice a month (mainly when I'm ovulating). It is no longer spontaneous because there are such huge date and time restraints that we must make sure to get busy on. Along with losing its spontaneity, its lost a lot of its passion. I'm not trying to say its unenjoyable, its just not like it used to be. We have certain positions that are "best" for baby-making, and not to mention the fun 15 minutes of holding my legs up instead of cuddling.
I'm struggling a lot with this because sex is something that every human desires. Sex is something God created for our pleasure and His glory. I'm just sad that its not like it used to be, and yet we are still not getting pregnant so I feel overwhelmed at thinking how long will this go on?
This leads me to the root of all of these problems. PCOS is an ugly, ugly thing. Its also a huge mystery to the medical world as to why it even exists or came to be. There is no cure and its symptoms can lead to death. I've read and been told numerous times that losing weight is the best treatment for PCOS. Well I can check that off my list, but its definitely not helped. Its hard not to question why this happened to you and why there is no way to cure it.
Being a mother is a God-given desire. I believe there is a seed planted in every woman's heart from the beginning. Think about it. When we are growing up and playing with dolls and Barbies, we are always the mommy. We love to play house and pretend to cook and take care of the children. We even feel connections to them as if they are able to talk to us and tell us their needs. Then when we get older, some of us get a pet who becomes our baby until we are ready and able to have children. We talk to them as if they are human, we feed them, nurture them, exercise them, brush them, and even cuddle with them. But nothing suffices like your own actual baby with the man you waited your whole life to meet and fall in love with. Nothing can change the desire in your heart to be a mother and I believe God wouldn't want that desire to be changed.
Along with that, God doesn't want us to fall out of sync with the spouse He brought into our lives. If we are having trouble making sex happen on a normal basis from just trying to have a baby, I definitely want to nip it in the bud so we don't lose that closeness after we have kids.
I truly believe that sex is good all around. (In marriage only, of course) It's good for your emotional well-being, its good for your mental well-being, and its good for your physical well-being. I definitely want us to work on making sex fun again and not just something we mark off the to-do list. We need to get busy Praising God!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley
