Day 13 ~

A Real Father's Day Wish

Ever since I can remember, Father's Day was a day I just didn't celebrate. When we made Father's Day crafts in school I would either ask not to make one or would make it for my mom. I do not have a father. I only have a sperm donor. I say this because my father chose to abuse me and not be in my life. After many years of grieving through that pain, I tried to have a relationship with him, but it definitely did not turn out well. Today, I don't even acknowledge his existence. But its okay because I have a different meaning for Father's Day than most people.

First, I get to praise God for being the best Daddy anyone could ever want or need. He shows me so much love in a littles blessings every single day. He comforts me when I'm sad and he wipes away my tears. He rejoices when I rejoice and He has shown me how to truly love. There is no better Father than our Heavenly Father. 

Second, I get to thank my mom for being both a mom and dad to my brother and I growing up. She and my grandmother did everything they could to raise my brother and I up right. So today, I say thank you mom!

Finally, I get to be hopeful and excited for the future. I married a wonderful man who will be an excellent Father. I pray that this time next year we can be celebrating him for being such a great Dad. I know he will be a great dad and that just makes me praise God!

So even though Father's Day isn't celebrating honoring my earthly father, its a day that I can be thankful for a God who loves me, a mother who has always supported me, and a husband who is my best friend! So today, instead of dwelling on what I don't have or wished I had growing up, I celebrate the wonderful "fathers" in my life. 

In His name and for His fame...

Hayley

I LOVE Scentsy...

So many of you know that I sell Scentsy. I not only sell it, but I LOVE it. The reason I have decided to write about Scentsy on my blog is because I want to list all the "Bring Back My Bar" Scents that will only be available for purchase in July. The other reason to post about Scentsy on my blog is because ever cent I make through selling Scentsy is being saved to cover the cost of fertility treatments like In-vitro Fertilization (IVF). We are saving money through the use of coupons and transferring money, but the money I make from Scentsy is a big contributor from my hard work to cover these costs.

I want to thank you all for reading and supporting me through all this. Your prayers and love mean so much to me. So now, without further rambling...here are the 20 BBMB scents:

Banana Flower
Banana Nut Bread
Cashmere*
Coconut Palm
Cutiepie Cupcake
Exotic Vanilla/Velvet Spice
Fresh Cut Cantaloupe*
Fried Ice Cream
Grape Granita
Irish Cream
Lemon Lavender*
Luscious Lemon
Orange Dreamsicle
Oxford*
Red Delicious
Root Beer Float
Spiced Orange Harvest
Strawberry Sweetie
Tuscan Garden
Watermelon Patch*

*These are scents I have used before and LOVED!!!

If you are interested in ordering any Scentsy, please visit my website @ Hayley's Scentsy Website
Thank you again for all your love, support, and prayers!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Let's talk about SEX, baby...

Most people, especially in the Christian realm, do not like to talk about sex. They don't want to let others know them in that way and in many ways this is a good thing. In other ways, as long as you talk with other married friends (of the same sex) and don't give away too many details, I think its a great thing.

Sex has been on my mind a lot lately. God made sex to be this amazing thing 2 people who are committed to each other in marriage and crazy in love to share to bring Him glory. Sex between married couples is an act of worship. But then there comes all these questions I have about when I don't feel like sex is honoring to God?

The main premise of this post is about fertility, but all this trying to get pregnant stuff has made sex more of a chore that only happens once or twice a month (mainly when I'm ovulating). It is no longer spontaneous because there are such huge date and time restraints that we must make sure to get busy on. Along with losing its spontaneity, its lost a lot of its passion. I'm not trying to say its unenjoyable, its just not like it used to be. We have certain positions that are "best" for baby-making, and not to mention the fun 15 minutes of holding my legs up instead of cuddling.

I'm struggling a lot with this because sex is something that every human desires. Sex is something God created for our pleasure and His glory. I'm just sad that its not like it used to be, and yet we are still not getting pregnant so I feel overwhelmed at thinking how long will this go on?

This leads me to the root of all of these problems. PCOS is an ugly, ugly thing. Its also a huge mystery to the medical world as to why it even exists or came to be. There is no cure and its symptoms can lead to death. I've read and been told numerous times that losing weight is the best treatment for PCOS. Well I can check that off my list, but its definitely not helped. Its hard not to question why this happened to you and why there is no way to cure it.

Being a mother is a God-given desire. I believe there is a seed planted in every woman's heart from the beginning. Think about it. When we are growing up and playing with dolls and Barbies, we are always the mommy. We love to play house and pretend to cook and take care of the children. We even feel connections to them as if they are able to talk to us and tell us their needs. Then when we get older, some of us get a pet who becomes our baby until we are ready and able to have children. We talk to them as if they are human, we feed them, nurture them, exercise them, brush them, and even cuddle with them. But nothing suffices like your own actual baby with the man you waited your whole life to meet and fall in love with. Nothing can change the desire in your heart to be a mother and I believe God wouldn't want that desire to be changed.

Along with that, God doesn't want us to fall out of sync with the spouse He brought into our lives. If we are having trouble making sex happen on a normal basis from just trying to have a baby, I definitely want to nip it in the bud so we don't lose that closeness after we have kids.

I truly believe that sex is good all around. (In marriage only, of course) It's good for your emotional well-being, its good for your mental well-being, and its good for your physical well-being. I definitely want us to work on making sex fun again and not just something we mark off the to-do list. We need to get busy Praising God!

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Trying to Stay Positive

Every time I take a pregnancy test and its negative, I become negative and feel hopeless. I know I'm not the only one who has fertility problems, but that doesn't change how hard this is. I think about those who have gotten pregnant and miscarried, and though I am truly saddened for them, at least they know they can get pregnant. Being in a place where I've never gotten to see a positive pregnancy test is hard. I wonder if I am even able to get pregnant. My doctor here in Korea has been really great. He keeps telling me to stay positive and not worry that it will happen. Soon I will be leaving Korea, (which is good in some ways and bad in others) but I will definitely not be able to afford IVF back in states. The problem now is I can't afford it in Korea either and now there isn't enough time to do it anyways...So I'm up the creek I guess. I can't take Clomid too many more times because it can become dangerous if taken too many times, so its just another thing that's added to the list of things causing me to lose hope that I will ever get pregnant.

There was finally a positive thing that happened to us. On May 18th, (his birthday) Richard had another semen analysis done but this time it was at Cha Hospital of 121 Army Hospital. We went back on May 24th for his results and the urologist gave us good news. If you recall, a few months ago Richard  had a semen analysis done at 121 and the results were not good. His sperm count on that test was 7 million per milliliter. The normal range begins at 20 million per milliliter so I was devastated that there was even more against us. Cha Hospital's semen analysis is much more in-depth so it gave  us a lot more information as well. The great news was that his sperm count was 49 million per milliliter. That was above the minimum norm and that made us ecstatic. The only issue he had was that his sperm's motility (the swimming) was a little lower than normal but not by much. The doctor said he would say his sperm was 90% great. This was a little glimmer of hope.

During my last cycle, other than the whole having sex bit, I tried so hard not to think about everything that was going on. It was always in the back of my mind, but I did a great job of keeping myself busy. Last month was also the first time I sort of felt as if I could get pregnant. My period was almost 5 days late and in those 5 days some hope started to grow. I began to think for sure that I must be pregnant. Then, I took a pregnancy test and got a negative. I planned to take one the following day and when I woke up to do so, there was no use in it. So we were back at square one...hopes crushed again. So what now?

Recently, I have been getting back in the gym and trying to enjoy life. I've been thinking a lot about the children God has planned for Richard and me to raise. I know He knows their name already, I just wish I did as well. I must share that I finally felt excited to see that someone was on National television talking about their struggle with PCOS. Olivia Ward was a finalist with her sister Hannah on NBC's show The Biggest Loser this past season. (She may have won but I haven't gotten to finish that episode yet) She was sharing about her diagnosis and fight and desire to have children. It really made me feel that there are other people who know what I'm going through. Its been so hard when I had my surgery to help me lose weight because that was the biggest factor in lightening the symptoms of PCOS. Then to get so much weight off and there to still be problems with PCOS just broke my heart. Knowing that Olivia knows what the weight issue and PCOS is really encourages me. I really think that is just awesome!

So now that I started this post before I went to the gym and finished it while I enjoy my signature "Decaf/Protein/Sugar Free/Caramel Frappuccino"after the gym, I just want to thank you all for reading this and for keeping us in your prayers. I know God's will and timing is perfect, I just need prayer to accept that.

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

It's Hard to Be Hopeful at Times...

So I haven't written too much about the fertility treatments recently and I wanted to share what is on my heart. I have been struggling a lot lately especially with the trying to not get my hopes up only to be let down. The last time I really remember writing about it was when I had to have the painful x-ray procedure done. Not too much has happened since then except that we found out Richard's sperm count is pretty low. He just had another semen analysis done on May 18th, so we are waiting for those results. With this extra hurdle, I have really began to feel hopeless. I have gained 20ish lbs. and I am struggling every time I look in the mirror. This past cycle I started feeling really hopeful. We had everything working for us and I didn't think too much about it. Then I started checking my calendar to see when I was supposed to start my period, and it was coming up. The day came and passed (I was almost 5 days late) and then it finally started. I took 2 pregnancy tests just in case but they were both negative. This was the first time I felt positive about the whole experience in that I might get pregnant. Then to find out that I wasn't only left me hopeless again.

 I started taking Clomid again last night, and the dose made me sick and I ended up throwing up the pills. When I talked to the doctor today, they said just continue to take the remaining 3 doses and then come in and they will do an ultrasound to see if I need another day's dose or not. So we are playing the waiting game to see if I'm going to ovulate or not. The doctor has said that he thinks In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) will be a great option for us. This is somewhat good news but also hard news. The good news is that the success rate for IVF is 80%. The bad news is that its so expensive. In the States it costs anywhere between $15,000-$20,000 to have it done. In Korea its much cheaper (3,000,000 Won which is around $3,000) but that is still A LOT of money to us. We are only an enlisted couple. There is no way we can afford that right now. So unless God sent us money someway or we could do something to make the money, we won't get to have IVF done before we leave Korea. Knowing this also diminishes my hope that I will get to have children.

I will let you know if anything changes or any updates I have when they happen. Thanks so much for reading my ramblings and all I ask is that you would pray for us. Thank you so much!

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Day 31 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge (Bonus Day)

Day 31 - A picture of yourself

This picture was taken after our latest FRG spouse social. It was a hat night and I bought this hat at Lotte Mart since I had no other hat. It was the only one that really looked good on me.

Day 30 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

This is my grandma. I call her Mimi. She was a wonderful woman who I miss more and more every day. She was my other parent. This was the last picture ever taken of her and she was just glowing this day after getting her hair done. I love you Mimi!

Day 29 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

This picture means so much. I felt like a princess. This day was probably one of the only days that I felt really beautiful. It always makes me smile!

The Post You've All Been Waiting For...

So last week I had a crazy thing that happened. We were up at Sokcho Beach in South Korea enjoying a wonderful time and strengthening our marriage. We left on Friday and before then I went to the bathroom and was spotting. I knew that you can have spotting during ovulation and implantation, but I knew it was too early for implantation. Later on in the day when I went to the bathroom, the bleeding had gotten only a little stronger. Before we went to bed the bleeding had gotten pretty heavy. I didn't understand this because when I went to the doctor the previous Friday, he said to have sex because of ovulation. So I assumed this whole week was the ovulation week. Anyways, on Saturday morning, I called the hospital since my doctor is in on Saturday and he believed this was just my period. He would have had me come in but since we were out of town he asked that we come in on Monday. When I went in on Monday, he said that it was my period and the ultrasound from the previous week showed that I had just ovulated...not that I was about to ovulate. The biggest reason I was freaking out was because by my calculations, it wasn't time for my period. The thing my doctor reminded me of was that he had given me Progesterone to induce a cycle for the last cycle, so my dates were now out of whack. So on Monday, he prescribed me Clomid again (which I am still responding greatly on the lowest dose of 50mg). I went back to the doctor yesterday, Saturday, and he said I had follicles in both ovaries that were maturing. The follicles need to be 1.9-2.0 cm in order to release and egg and they had grown to 1.3 cm as of yesterday. I will be going back on Tuesday for another ultrasound and if they are the correct size, he most likely will give me and HCG injection and tell us to get busy.

Thanks for all your concerns and prayers. I'm really thankful to have friends who love and care about me! God is so good. So remember on this wonderful Easter day...HE LIVES!!!

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Day 28 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

This is a really great ultrasound picture of a Polycystic ovary. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and I say this is the "Swiss Cheese Ovary" syndrome. Why am I afraid of this? I'm afraid of seeing this on the ultrasound screen because not only is it the cause of my infertility, but it can also lead to other health problems later on down the road.

Day 27 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

This is my brother R.J. He and I are 11 months and 11 days apart in age. He is younger and I am so proud of him. He is in the Army and stationed in Germany. I love him so much!

Day 26 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Love. My husband. He means so much to me and I can't imagine my life without him. Even when we fight, I love him and can't stop. Love makes the world go round...that is definitely true in my life and love with my husband.

Day 25 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Today I spent the day traveling up to Sokcho Beach in Northern South Korea (near Mt. Sorak) and stayed at this wonderful ocean front hotel.

Day 24 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

I really wish I could change who our president is. Our current president is a disgrace to our country. He has spent more money in his short time as president than other presidents spent in 8 years in office. His liberal views and agenda are absolutely ludicrous and his idea of change has only hurt our economy more.

Day 23 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

This book has really helped me get through my food addiction. Its shown me that my cravings should be filled with God and not food. The object of my cravings is really God when I think its food. Anyways, this is an AMAZING and revolutionary book! I hope you will all read it!

Day 22 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

I can sew and have made some simple square quilts, but I would really like to be better at it and make a lot of awesome things. My mom used to sew so much and she was is really good at it. I really want to make my t-shirt quilt, some purses, and pillows and maybe clothes.

Day 21 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Right now this is the only thing that I can think of. Yesterday, someone stepped in my toe and has broken almost my whole toenail off. It bled so much and I refuse to pull it off because it is protecting it, but it hurts so bad that I really do wish I could forget it.

Day 20 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

This is a picture of one of the slum orphanages I visited when I went to Botswana. I would really love to travel there with my husband some day.

Fertility Update

*April 8, 2011*

Richard and I traveled to Seoul to meet with Dr. Lee and get an ultrasound to check for ovulation. Dr. Lee was very happy with my progression and response to Clomid so he told us to get busy. We will definitely be doing that tonight and this week as we head to Mt. Sorak and Sokcho Beach for some wonderful time away.

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Day 19 - A picture of when you were little

This picture is of me when I was 4 years old. I have always been a girly girl. I would even put makeup and earrings on my brother. I always loved dolls, and Barbies, and playing house and school. This picture was taken at my grandmother's house and the tutu was actually my mom's when she was a little girl. I was so cute...what happened? Do you think that looks like me today?

Day 18 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

After losing so much weight, my biggest insecurity is gaining weight...especially gaining back all the weight I have lost.

Day 17 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

I recently became a Scentsy consultant and once I quit my job at Osan High School I have really been able to start my business going. This picture was taken of me with my booth at an event called Spring Fling for the Camp Humphreys Wee Tots program. I have really fallen in love with Scentsy even more than I was. So if you want to try it out and even get yourself some free stuff, message me about hosting a party! Thank you Sharon Warshaw for helping me with so many questions about things I always seem to have.

Day 16 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

I don't think she knows it, but Dana is someone I would consider a best friend for life! She and I really inspired each other and pushed each other when running of an evening, and I just love that I got to know her. Our chats and just time together was always a highlight of my day. I miss her so much and I am inspired by how great of a mom, wife, and worker she is! Love you!

Day 15 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

I have been pondering the idea for quite some time, but before I die I want to write a cookbook for Bariatric surgery patients. Being that I am one myself, I really wanted to write a book that would not only be great for the patients but have meals in it that the family will also love. I have some recipes, but it's going to be a while going.

Some Bad News

On Tuesday, Richard got his results from his semen analysis. It's hard to accept, but his sperm count was really low. The normal range is 20-150 million per mL. His was only 7 million. There are some things he can do to improve his sperm count like exercise, taking some supplements, and eating more healthy. He currently eats a lot of processed foods (which is definitely my fault because its easier to make him those things since I have such a special diet). We are slowly going to switch to an almost all organic diet. I know it will be better for both of us. He is taking a Fertility Blend supplement for men which will also help. He goes back to do another semen analysis at Cha Hospital on April 18th.

On another note, when we were at the doctor yesterday, he said that I had again responded very well to the Clomid. I still had taken only 50mg (which is the lowest dose) and I was about to ovulate. He did however explain to us that because of his low sperm count, I most likely will not get pregnant naturally. He really feels that IVF is probably going to be my best option. There is good news and bad news about this. The bad news is that IVF is extremely expensive. The good news is that its a lot cheaper in Korea than it is in the United States and the success rate in PCOS women it the highest of all fertility treatments. There is also the option to have multiples which we would both be okay with because then we would be done with having kids and wouldn't have to go through more fertility treatment. So last night was a really emotional night for me, but I know God will not let my desire to be a mother go unfulfilled. I know that His timing is perfect and He will provide us with a child and provide us with the money if IVF is what is needed. Thanks for keeping up with us and for praying for us! You all matter so much to us!

In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Random Pictures from Fertility Treatments

So I thought it might be cool for some of you to see some pictures of things related to my fertility treatments in Korea. I think it is just neat to see the difference of things between here and the U.S. 

The picture above is of my arm where they did a skin test before my HSG x-ray. They inserted something so they could make sure I wouldn't have a reaction to the dye during the x-ray. They put a circle and the check time on my arm so they would be able to see the result. The time was when it needed to be checked before my HSG procedure.

This is a picture of the paper they gave me to inform me about the HSG procedure. It gives a lot of detailed information about what occurs during the procedure. I was very surprised about how well written in English it was. Koreans usually butcher English, so it was nicely written. 

This is a picture of the paper you receive every time you finish a doctor's appointment. As you can see, the nurse puts an order of things that I need to do on the bottom right. On the one's where I am just coming back for monitoring of my developing follicles, It will have the order of what to do at my next appointment. 1) Get Ultrasound. 2) Go to Dr. Office

This is a picture of the antibiotics they gave me to take for the 5 days following my HSG procedure to make sure that I don't get an infection from the dye. I think its neat to look at how the pills are individually wrapped and Korean prescriptions are just written on a bag of some sort according to the hospital. The bag they put this medicine in was paper.

This final picture is another one of my prescriptions from Cha Hospital. It is my prescription for Clomid. As you can see, they put this prescription in a plastic bag. 

I hope you have enjoyed getting to see some of the things from medical/fertility treatment here in Korea. We are praying that we get pregnant before we leave Korea and have the baby back in the States. Thanks for praying for us!

In His name and for His fame...

Hayley

Day 14 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Ever Since I accepted Christ in August of 1997, there is no way I could imagine my life without Him. I have gone through some really hard times and His strength is what has gotten me through them. Even though there have been times when I blamed Him for the bad things that were happening to me or asked Him why He would let bad things happen to me, He never wavered in His love and forgiveness towards me. He helped me overcome the guilt and pain of my childhood, as well as many other things I allowed myself to do that I knew wasn't right. But that's the best thing about Jesus, He loves you no matter what. He went to the cross for you. He carried our burden of sin and died for our sin so that we would no longer receive the punishment for the things we do that are wrong. Do you know anyone that would voluntarily die to save you? (I know my husband would save if put in a threatening position, but he would not downright offer to die so that I could live.) It's just not our human nature because we are selfish, but Jesus did die for us. All He asks in return is that we believe in Him and share Him with others. I wish I could easily pay off my debts with credit cards and school loans the way the Jesus asks us to repay Him.

Day 13 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

So I decided to go with a picture of my "ALL TIME FAVORITE" band instead of just my current favorite. The Backstreet Boys may only be 4 strong, but they will forever be America's best Boy Band!!!

HSG Hysterosalpingogram

Many of you have asked me about the "painful procedure at the fertility doctor" I had done after posting about it on Facebook. Therefore, I am going to share a video explaining the procedure because it will help you understand it more. I wasn't expecting to have it done until next week, but my period ended up being very short so I took the bus to Seoul since Richard couldn't go with me and I didn't want to drive. After my doctor told me we were for sure doing the x-ray procedure, I received 2 different shots. The first was a skin test where they injected stuff under my skin to make sure I wouldn't be allergic to the dye they would be using during the test. I'm not really sure what the second injection was, but it was 1 of 3 things: anti-inflammatory medication, antibiotics in case of an infection from the dye, or a medication that causes the fallopian tubes to relax so they can get the best image of them. I had to wait 10 minutes for the skin test and after that was read and showed no reaction, the had me change and then they began the test. I have had pap smears done plenty of times, but this hurt. When they began injecting the dye, it was extreme pain. It really felt like serious menstrual cramps. The only good thing about it was that it didn't last too long. In the end I did have spotting for about 24 hours. After the test, I went to talk to Dr. Lee and he showed me the images. He said my uterus looked great and so did the right tube, but he said there seemed to be a temporary block of my left tube (possibly my bowels or a small piece of tissue). He believed that it would only be temporary but most likely I will have to have the test done again to make sure. (Yay Me!)  Below you will see the video explaining the HSG test.

Day 12 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

What more can I say? I LOVE Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino Light! I really just love Starbucks in general but this is my favorite drink. In the States I get Starbuck's protein powder in it, but since Starbucks in Korea doesn't have the protein powder, I take in some unflavored GNC powder of my own. SO GOOD!!!

Day 11 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Well needless to say, I hate the scale. Well actually we have a love/hate relationship but its been more hate lately. I used to be addicted to it every single day (sometimes multiple times a day) but we haven't seen each other in about a week because I have decided that it will not control me.

What happened on Tuesday???

So Tuesday, March 29th, Richard and I had a last minute opportunity to go to Yongsan so he could get his semen analysis test done. I had already been to Seoul on Monday for a Dentist Appointment so I was quite disappointed that my period hadn't started so it would save us another trip back to Seoul. After we arrived at Yongsan, we both needed to use the bathroom and low and behold there was Aunt Flow! After Richard finished his test, we headed over to Char to see Dr. Lee. He went ahead and prescribed Clomid again this cycle and he wants me to come back a day or two after my period is done so he can do an x-ray of my fallopian tubes and uterus. Well, this period ended up only lasting through Thursday, so I will be heading to Seoul either today or tomorrow. (If I go on Saturday, it will be by train) I will let you know more updates as I get them. Thanks for following with us and praying for us!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Day 10 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

Wow I miss Rachel so much!!! This pic was from Decades Day at Wassom Middle School where we both worked. We are complete opposites but I consider her one of my best friends ever! I miss our sarcasm, our holding each other accountable...and she is the person who got me tipsy so I couldn't see straight with Margaritas. I truly miss her and value her friendship more than I think she knows! You rock woman!

Day 9 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

This was the easiest choice of days to pick. My mom is my best friend, my confidant, and biggest fan. She has been there for me through so much. From the awful things in my childhood that happened through rough spots in college and even in married life. She has been a firm rock for me and I love her so much!

Day 8 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

This picture was taken shortly after I arrived in Korea. We didn't have a car yet but we decided to do something special. We ended up taking the bus to Osan (which isn't so special anymore) and we ate at Chili's!!! I was so excited to eat at Chili's! While we were sitting there, I wanted to take tons of pictures of us since I hadn't seen him since Christmas and he was game for it for only about 2 minutes and then he got silly. When I saw he had done this in the pic I just couldn't help but laugh! My hubby is really silly and I just love him for that. Choosing a picture for today's pic was hard because I had 3 top choices...this one, then one of where I paused a show and the person's face was absolutely hysterical that I had to take a pic of it, and finally, a pic of a bumper sticker that said "O-ne B-ig A-$ M-istake A-merica"

Day 7 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Ok so my Bible and my wedding ring and engagement ring are definitely my MOST treasured items! However, I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my Frappuccino maker! (P.S...technically its still one picture!)

Day 6 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

So this is Michelle Duggar. As most of you know she has 19 kids. Now its not that I want to trade places with her to have 19 kids, its that I wish I could trade places with her for her fertility. Her husband looks at her and she gets pregnant. So that is the reason I would want to trade places with her...If I chose someone else to trade places with it would probably be Jillian Michaels!

Fertility Treatment Update

So on Tuesday, (March 22nd) I went to Cha Hospital for another ultrasound to see if any follicles had grown. (Remember that my doctor seemed optimistic about them, but I didn't) After the ultrasound he told me that they hadn't grown so now he wanted to give me an injection of Progesterone to induce a cycle so that I can do Clomid at least one more time. He asked me how I was doing and I straight up told him that I felt sad and depressed because I'm afraid that I will never get pregnant. Ever since he found out that I go to a Bible Study he has been talking to me about God and that is really cool. The coolest thing he reminded me of was that my timing isn't God's timing and just because I am not pregnant yet doesn't mean I won't be pregnant soon. That really helped me feel encouraged. On another note, Richard will be going to 121 hospital on Tuesday to do his semen analysis. Right now I am just playing the waiting for my period to start game so that I go back and get my Clomid. I can't believe I actually am excited for my period to start because that means one step closer. I will let you know more when I find out more. Thanks for your love, support and prayers!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Day 5 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

My favorite memory is the day Richard proposed to me. I think it is truly a wonderful story and here are just a few small details...if you want the rest of the story just ask...I woke up at 5AM to leave Friday morning with Richard by 6AM to go to one of his famous "surprises". He wouldn't let me know much of anything except that when I asked him what time we were getting there he said it would be closer to 1PM...so that meant about 6 hours driving. He ended up taking me to this little town in North Carolina snuggled in the Smoky Mountains and we proceeded to check-in and ride on the GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAIN RAILROAD!Come to find out he had contacted the Railroad and made all his engagement plans before hand!!!

Day 4 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

At first this day of the challenge seemed like a true challenge. Some people were saying it could be of your favorite night while others said it was asking for what you do on your normal nights. So I decided to go that route. In this picture you will see my computer that has Facebook and the video player up. I am usually checking Facebook or watching a show on my computer while coloring or doing some other crafty thing. Sometimes, if there is something good on AFN I will be watching the TV in our Apartment. Kaho is also in this picture because a good portion of the evening is spent entertaining him. You will also see the Wii under the TV and my elliptical machine in the other corner. This basically represents all that a normal even in my life currently consists of.

Day 3 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

So I totally have like 3 favorite shows, but The Biggest Loser is my longest and ALL-TIME favorite show! I have seen every episode of every season. I have trained with a former Contestant and I am inspired every day by all the contestants I am friends with on Facebook. They keep me going on my Weight Loss Journey!

(My other favorite TV Shows are Army Wives and C.S.I....The original C.S.I. not NY or Miami...I have also seen every episode of every season of these shows too!)

Day 2 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

Other than my mom and brother this is the person that has been there for me through everything! Kassi is more than just a friend...she is my sister. She knows as much about me as my husband and mom. She has blossomed into a beautiful woman of God and I am so proud of her. She inspires me everyday and I love her more than words could say!!!

Day 1 ~ 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with 10 facts about yourself.

10 Facts about Myself:
1. I love to cook.
2. I love to read.
3. I have never been to Disney Land.
4. I want to go to Law School some day.
5. I technically have 3 tattoos but one is covered up with a tattoo.
6. I was an extra in the movie, "We Are Marshall."
7. I love coffee...especially Starbucks!
8. My favorite TV show is The Biggest Loser.
9. I was a missionary in Botswana, Africa for the summer of 2007.
10. I love to color in coloring books!

30 Day Photo Challenge

So I saw a few people who had done or were doing this 30 Day Photo Challenge. Therefore, being as I love to do things like this, I will begin the 30 Day Photo Challenge starting tomorrow. I will post my pic of each day on both here and Facebook. This will definitely make things a lore more lively on here. I know this is a blog about getting pregnant with PCOS, but I believe things have to be fun because that can help ease the stress that getting pregnant can bring. Therefore, you will often see me doing fun things like this as well as being totally serious and pouring out my heart when times are tough on us. Let me know if you want to join me on this fun project. I love pictures and would love to see the fun pictures you all post as well. If you want to join me on this 30 Day Photo Challenge, here is a list of the pictures you have to find and post for each day:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself


Have a great day as I finally go to bed here in Korea.
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

3rd Try...Will it be the Charm?

This is the 3rd attempt at fertility treatments...except without fertility treatments.

This cycle we did not get to use Clomid because of some craziness that was going on. First, my doctor was not in his office the week I needed to take Clomid. He was at a conference and had a "substitute doctor" who I could have seen except for the fact that the substitute doctor had very limited office hours and I couldn't get there because the office hours did not coincide with my job. Also that week, my job reached a point of awfulness that I had to do a lot of figuring out what I was going to do. The teacher I worked with was absolutely horrible (enough so that the Principal had told me he was surprised it took me as long as it did to come and complain about her because everyone that had worked with her always complained but much sooner than I did). She was too focused on her sport she was coaching that she was losing papers and then blaming me for things the students did wrong. By the end of the week, Richard and I had decided that it would be in our best interest for me to quit my job and pursue subbing at both Osan Air Base and Camp Humphreys.

So no Clomid meant that I most likely would not ovulate this cycle which meant another month of waiting and another month of not getting pregnant because PCOS was winning. Then on top of it all, I had gained a little weight and have been terribly worried and stressed out about that. The possible good news is that since I couldn't take Clomid, I decided to try this natural supplement that many refer to as "Nature's Clomid". Its called Soy Isoflavenes and you take it on the same cycle days as you do Clomid. I also began to take Bee Pollen and Royal Jelly along with this Fertility Blend Natural Supplement. Richard is also taking the Men's Fertility Blend now too.

So the week after my period is over I go to the doctor on Friday, March 11th and he was sad about not getting to take Clomid and has me get an ultrasound. He then wanted me to come back almost a week later on March 18th so I can have another ultrasound done to see if there is a follicle possibly developing. So we went back on the 18th and my follicle was 1.2cm (it needs to be about 2cm for ovulation) but he was hopeful that it is developing just its developing very slowly. So now I go back on Tuesday, March 22nd and will have another ultrasound done. If the follicle has not grown anymore, I hope he will determine that I am not going to ovulate on my own this month and we can move on to something else that can be done or tested.

Also, Richard's referral for his sperm analysis finally got put in and approved so one day when he is not on his 24-hour duty, he is going to go to 121 to get it done.

Thanks for checking in on things and as soon as I find out more I will update!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

Past Fertility Treatments

I just want to share the past attempts of fertility treatments Richard and I have gone through. I hope that it will help others to see some of the way things are done. I am currently being seen by Dr. Lee at Cha Hospital in Seoul, South Korea. My husband is in the Army where we are stationed here in Korea. Cha Hospital has a wonderful relationship with Tri-Care and they have a wonderful Fertility Clinic.

1st Try: On December 23, 2010 I went to the Fertility Specialist for the first time. He drew blood and ran an ultrasound which both showed that my PCOS was still alive and well. My LH level was higher than my FSH level (which they need to be a 1:1 ratio of both) and the ultrasound revealed that my ovaries still looked like Swiss Cheese. My period was about to begin so the Doctor prescribed Clomid (50 mg) to take for days 2-6 of my cycle. I responded well to the Clomid and was monitored for ovulation through ultrasounds. I was given an HCG injection and 2 days later had ovulation pain on my left side. My period was 4 days late but I kept getting Negative Home Pregnancy tests and then my period began.

2nd Try: After my period began 4 days late I went back to Doctor and he again prescribed Clomid. I took Clomid (50 mg) days 3-7 this time and was monitored with ultrasounds to measure the size of my developing follicles. Again I responded well to the Clomid and was given a different kind of HCD injection called Ovidrel (http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/resources/ovidrelpre-filledsyringe.jsp) which is more like and extended release injection. Again I had ovulation pain on my left side but my period was 2 days late and we only got Negatives on the home pregnancy tests.

Thanks for taking the time to read all my details!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley

First Post

Wow, I am pretty excited to be starting this blog journey! It will definitely help alleviate a lot of the stress that has been the counterpart of fertility treatments and trying to get pregnant. Also, I hope this blog will be an inspiration to some and help others to see that they are not alone in the fight against Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I look forward to the future and I know God has great things in store for us!
In His name and for His fame...
Hayley